It is 4:19 am and I am awake. Click, clack, click there are tiny footsteps dancing outside the door of my bungalow. The mountains here in Laos are getting cold so I have ventured in for the night to a guest house bungalow. Click, clack, click the footsteps appear to be busting out with an early morning tango……Cock A Doodle DOOOOOOO, the song is startling, a disastrous operatic melancholy melody that could make Pavarotti roll over in his grave has just begun outside the thin walls of my wooden bungalow.
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| Asian Psychotic Rooster |
They don’t seem to understand how early it is, psychosis from too much singing has surely eaten away their senses. Roosters have gathered like a doorstep Christmas carol choir, lacking any real talent to pull off a hit song and they certainly can’t skate by on their dance moves or cute looks alone.
The roosters here in Asia are not your run of the mill roosters, although I do wish they would run a mill instead of the roads. They are psychotic; their cock doodle doo is in need of a good dose of psychotherapy, a straight jacket and a voice coach. Their short tempered feathers are constantly ruffled and they have developed some serious issues concerning magic bicycles. For days now, I have been trying to quietly sneak by them unnoticed but they can smell a magic bicycle from a mile away. And despite my stealth bomber efforts as I pedal by them, they shed their straightjackets and click clack click themselves to the side of the road, cock their greasy uncombed feathery heads, open their alarming blood shot eyes and Cock A Doodle DOOO a psychotic howl straight out of a B grade slasher movie.
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| notice the hearing aid in the women’s ear due to the fact that she grew up around here |
Magic bicycles are indeed a special breed, can render even the most secure, green with envy, however, psychosis and jealousy are a dangerous combination in a strange bird with a terrible singing voice, who has aspirations to form an early morning choir with all his equally ton deaf bird friends. It is now 4:36 AM, the morning rooster chorus is in full swing, busting out poor quality original tunes and discussing their application for the AM talk show circuit. Let’s applaud them for effort and secretly hope they do not find success for I assure you that if they went global, the world at large would suffer a serious shortage of high quality earplugs.
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| Although I agree that this would make a fine album cover, I assured them to keep practicing and Opera will just come to them! |