A man with whom, a speedy romance has taken some strange but temporarily satisfying form. I feel as if I have been hit by a crotch rocket of emotional intimacy, 0 to 90mph in 4 short days. I never could stay away from the boys, I giggle to myself as I look up from my repaired cycling sandal, my shoe is lashed together with first aid tape and super glue and clipped into the rusty pedal of my magic bicycle. As I cycle off, I push my scratched sunglasses over my straining face, my chest pulls inward to only remind me once again…no strings attached, it is the rules of the road, it has been a fun few days… every good-bye opens a new door blah blah blah….have men not been playing women like this for years?
Category: Int’l Adventures
Crazy For Camels
Dear Playboy Magazine
I am writing to inquire about sponsorship. I am sure, I am not alone in the quest for support from Playboy Magazine. So why should you choose me out of the stack of requests to receive support for my world bicycle tour? The answer is because I am often mistaken for a porn star by truck drivers. As much as I am flattered and utterly humbled by the mistake, I believe education is key. A pro-active approach for solo female cyclists would be to offer rock launching educational pamphlets, that clearly demonstrate key differences between solo female bicycle tourists and bonafide porn stars. I could attach educational materials to rocks and throw them at road side masturbators heads as I cycle by.
The target audience is easy to locate. This past week, one such willy wielding weirdo stood at the side of the road with his willy flapping in the desert breeze watching me, his truck blocking anyone else from seeing him. Another such incident this week, involved three 3 guys on a motorcycle who did not fair too well. They stopped to ask me for sexual “servis”. Seconds later, I found myself chasing them down the street snapping photos like a camera wielding lunatic. Sponsorship would also allow me to set up tented private areas at truck stops for oh-la-la activities with oneself, saving the willy weidling weirdos of the world from hazardous highway chases by solo female cyclists.
pro-tip: It is perfectly normal behavior to run down highways chasing after willy wielding weirdos with a camera, a 4-way focus stabilizer is necessary to clearly capture the moment for your memoirs
Let me explain, I have been cycling around the world for far too long. As much, as I am always flattered to be mistaken for a porn star, it happens so frequently in some areas that my reaction has increased to perilous lunacy for them. The next time such a display occurs, I fear I may just try to cut off their willies and duct tape them to their forheads. Sponsorship would save the willies of the world, a mutual interest that Playboy Magazine and I certainly share.
Speaking points at the oh-la-la with oneself tented areas and of the rock launching educational materials would include tips on how to recognize the key differences between an actual porn star and a solo female cyclist.
Thanking you in advance for considering me for porn star sponsorship
Signed,
Solo Female Cycling Around The World
Loretta Henderson
www.skalatitude.com
Flip A Coin For Cairo
Big Mac Attack…What To Eat On A Bicycle Tour
I was stopped from taking photos of the menu. Apparently the recipe of that Greek Mac is now top secret! I wonder why?
Laugh Until You Bust but Pedaling In Pakistan is A Definitive Must…Top 5 Reasons To Pedal In Pakistan
Number 5. Road Side Bombs For some road side bombs and the Taliban is what is conjured when one thinks about Pakistan as a must see bicycle touring location. However, as the media drops bombs of bad news about Pakistan you can be content to know that you are part of a brave posey of bicycle tourists. Travelers, shielded by the adventurous spirit are rewarded with a hospitality that will quickly detonate any misconceptions the media has fired up about the place.
Good Curry And A Spicy Conversation, Canadian Women Cyclists Unite For Dinner In India
The Canadian flag can be hung high and proud this evening for Canadian female cyclists. 7000 miles (11000 km) from home, 5 Canadian cyclists meet by chance in a church court yard in Shimla, India. We immediate say hello and decide to meet for dinner for some good curry and a spicy conversation.
Booteh Call…Six Tips For The Solo Female In India
Lahore Never A Bore…The Photo Show
Rapping With The Man In Pakistan