I would like to announce the upcoming matrimonial vows of Ms. Keene Cycling Sandal to Mr. Shimano Cycling Sandal. They will be married on the shores of Pantai Cenang Beach, Malaysia. In attendance will be a Canadian female bicycle tourist and her monkey. They will arrive by magic bicycle to attend the event and will be cloaked in floral bohemian cotton. The monkey will be wearing a Speedo swimsuit, a banana hammock of sorts to remain politely covered amongst the burka clad local Muslim women. Amongst the guests will be topless Swedish sunbathing tourists, Indian Malay parasailing entrepreneurs and local Malay Rastafarians adorned in decade old dreadlocks. Reggae beats unheard of since the heights of the Jamaican music scene in the 80’s will percuss through the shell lined sandy shores of the Andaman sea on Pantai Cenang beach. The menu will consist of $0.40 duty free beers and nasi goreng pedas (spicy fried rice), the local Malay specialty
Ms Keene Cycling Sandal is a delicate poorly constructed sort with a serial bride burnt out glow and a reputation for short marriages with a 3 month longevity. Her faults lie in the foot bed, angle strap and shoddy neoprene lining. Even since finding the perfect therapist and having new and improved angle straps sown in place, she still proves to be too delicate for bicycle touring. This is Ms. Keen Cycling Sandal’s third marriage in 16 months, she hopes by her union to Mr. Shimano Cycling Sandal to escape her serial bride reputation and turn a new pedal in the rolling game of bicycle touring commitments and longevity.
Mr. Shimano Cycling Sandal is the hearty, sturdy type with 3 thick velcro straps and concrete stiff inlaid spd housing, a rock solid masculine bloke with a stiff upper lip and proven longevity amongst bicycle tourists. This is Mr. Shimano’s Cycling Sandals first marriage.
The Canadian female bicyclist and her Speedo clad monkey have high hopes for Mr. Shimano Cycling Sandal’s sturdy commitment and proven longevity. And after 2 failed marriages, Ms. Keene Cycling Sandal could use a strong, sturdy well constructed replacement. Following the ceremonial exchange of vows, Ms Keen Cycling Sandal and Mr. Shimano Cycling Sandal will be honeymooning on a magic bicycle with the Canadian female bicycle tourist and her Speedo clad monkey in the semi arid Middle Eastern plains and the Africa sub-Saharan desert.
And if it doesn’t work out this time, there will always be lift out of town.