Dear Universe please let a truck stop, I think I need help arranging my funeral

Dear Universe please let a truck stop, I think I need help arranging my funeral
Reading of Poet Hafez (885x1024)

My stomach gives up sometime during the night as I am camping during the season’s first frost and I lose track exactly how many times I have hurled. When the sun comes up in the morning, I pack up and decide to pedal into the closest town to look for a pharmacy or a place to die, whichever comes first. With my imminent death so near, immediately after hurling again, I say out loud while standing with magic bicycle on the side of the road. I say to the frosty Middle Eastern near winter air, I say

 
Dear Universe, please help me find a place to die or a pharmacy
 
My stomach has finally collapsed and succumbed to the bicycle tourist plight of a million different foods, waters and bacteria’s. After 2 ½ years of continuous bicycle travel my stomach has cart wheeled into one food and water adventure to the next and like the TV show fear factor sometimes it doesn’t always work out. However, this time it is different from all the other times, cycling, walking, laying down, and sitting are no longer possible. About all I can still manage is a glazed eyed, head scarf straightened half smile, a buckled over thumbs up and righteous attempt to not puke on myself in the wind.
women walking
 
Dear Universe, thank you for intervening on my behalf
 
After 15 minutes intervals of cycling, stomach cramps, walking, puking and curling up on the side of the road, the universe intervenes on my stubborn, wood headed behalf. Pandemic the Magic Bicycle and I are collected by a super concerned man with a truck. About all I can still manage is a thumbs up, a smile and a thank you in Persian, the local language, as I crawl towards the saint, I mean truck. The man lifts Pandemic into the back of the truck because my stomach definitely isn’t about to lift Pandemic The Magic Bicycle loaded on this occasion.
stain glass
 
Hospitality in Muslim countries is legendary. My new friend thinks I have a injured leg, probably because I am walking doubled over, I motion it is my stomach. He wants to take me to his home and feed me. With my best travelers gesture I motion that I am sick, and say I need a pharmacy, a medicine store. He drives me to a hospital.
 
Pro-tip while gesturing sickness in any language always remember to be comically obvious, sound effects are helpful as well
 
As a tourist in Iran, I am guest of the country and it is very important that I have a good experience while travelling here. Police man, medical directors, hospitals managers, head nurses and anyone who knows 2 words of English are brought to my assistance when I ask about a pharmacy to buy some antacids. Not having any idea what is wrong with my belly I decide I should start with antacids. The hospital rolls Pandemic The Magic Bicycle into a treatment room behind the curtain and I realize I might be there for a while. Are you Anorexic? I mustered a laugh and said no, I am a bicycle tourist, however, anorexia and bicycle touring are remarkably similar in the hunger department. Where’s your Husband? Casper (the ghost), he is on vacation. Are You Alone? I am part of the International Social Club, we are always looking for new members…the questioning begins.
 
After a day of sonograms, iv bags, blood tests, 8 more pukes and 7 hours of observation for a sun burnt face that isn’t a fever , appendicitis, peptic ulcers, non-existent diarrhea, anorexia and being single, I decide it is time to leave the hospital. For the same reason that I would never take an old car to a mechanic because they will only find something to fix. My old worn out stomach is not improving what so ever so I decide to go into the next big city and self medicate and if it doesn’t improve I will go back to the hospital. I legally discharge myself with a written statement that says…
cycling away
 
Dear Universe, thank you for healing my tummy
 
My treatment in this hospital has been wonderful. I love Iran, I will definitely visit again, blah, blah blah…. That’s where I am now, discharged, feeling better in a guest house, drinking chamomile, peppermint tea, flat 7-up, eating plain pasta, bread and antacids, sleeping and waiting for my belly to settle so I can pedal the rest of the way through Iran before the snow flys in the Middle East.
 

14 thoughts on “Dear Universe please let a truck stop, I think I need help arranging my funeral”

  1. PLEASE take care of yourself!! Don't be so self-reliant that you risk your life. It's not worth being a hero or martyr if you have a serious illness. If it doesn't get better soon, PLEASE return to a hospital and be patient until they can figure out what you might have caught. If you have really good travel insurance, consider being taken outside the country for treatment. – Your Friend from Afar, Wylie, Couchsurfing Cook.

  2. I'm with Wylie – this doesn't sound like an ordinary old case of Delhi Belly. Please get some more expert medical attention if it doesn't come right real soon. Your health must be so important on a trip like this and you may need all your fortitude with that approaching winter weather. Take care.

  3. there is an old non chemical way to deal with stomach bugs of all types that I've used in India 1978:

    its called the plunger system, (if you are squemish stop reading here) 🙂

    you eat a lot of dry oats, or the Indians has just dry chaff,

    you eat it raw, no fluid, or as little as possible.

    the oats/chaff/dry stuff expands in your stomach, and moves down the system like a "SOAK IT ALL UP" plug.

    works wonders (at least in my experience)
    works when pills won't anymore

    In Thailand they have carbon tablets to do a similar job.

    hope you never need to try this

    🙂

  4. Thanks everyone for the well wishes. I left the hospital mostly to eat. It had been 20 hours of no food or water, I am already a litle skinny to deal with that LOL. I checked out to start eating. Things are looking much better now that my belly is full again. thankx all

  5. Loretta, I was in denial about my stomach problems for weeks while crossing India. It wasn't until I reached Malaysia virtually on my knees that I visited a doctor, had some tests done and discovered I had Giardia. I would never have got better without the right medication. Go get some tests done.

  6. Please be patient and listen to your body – you don't want it to slow your adventurous spirit! I may only be a virtual friend but my concern is real. If you need anything at all, please do get in touch.

  7. i was thinking along the lines of giardia too much as Ann had. No harm getting the simple tests done, girlie. This amoeba doesnt just go away. Has to be dealt with if you got it. Simple too but needs patience. With the Persian winter looking you in the face you will need loads of strength. Dont delay please.

  8. Hi, i ve been following your blog for quite a bit and it always been hillarious. Enjoyed reading it. However with this recent addition it kinda hit me that you almost crossed the limit. Slow down lady,take it easy. Treat the body nicer afterall you have one only. Unwind yourself, pamper if you will. Enjoy the good fooad. There are everywhere, splurge a little.

    Acid from Malaysia

  9. From your comments and my own experience, I would say giardia. This goes through phases of activity and dormancy – activity, like you've just had where you want to die, and then the little protozoa form dormant cysts and wait. During this dormancy phase nothing can touch them. Then at some point, usually about 5-10 days later it comes back, with a vengeance, and so the cycle repeats itself. It can clear on its own, but can also get worse if it is not treated. Standard treatment is with metronidazole, taken regularly, when you have symptoms (not in the encysted dormant stage) for about 8 days – don't miss a dose.

    If I were you, I would go back to the hospital with a stool sample and ask them to test it – this is a pretty sure way to determine the specific bug you have. If it turns out to be giardia, then they can prescribe whatever they think most appropriate for your form of it.

    Best of luck!

  10. hey loretta… do look after yourself and if you still feel rough then go back to doctors/hospital and get checked out. it sounds like you may have giardia from what you've put and your other blog friends have said. very interesting article as always my love – you sure crack me up. wish i was still travelling like you are and boy you've seen some places. we are having a month travelling in central america next year and cannot wait. but again – please please look after yourself and stay in a guesthouse for a few days to recouperate rather than camping in the frosty weather! big hugs, claire (in chilly england)

  11. Hey Loretta
    Didn't I tell you not to brush your teeth with the tap water!
    I agree with everyone above, it does sound serious, I had giardia once and wasn't any fun, I was flat on my back for 10 days. It is highly contagious too so be careful who you hold hands with.
    I recommend a good book and plenty of crackers.
    Take care Cindie

  12. Loretta, I've had giardia about 4 times in my travels. It isn't contagious (unlike hepatitis). It is a water-borne intestinal bug and can be cured easily. In the 80's in Pakistan I tried Metronidazole, awful metallic taste but took gradual doses but it returned.
    In fact, the only real cure is to find a decent pharmacy not selling dodgy medicine (ie Chinese/Indian) and get a pack of Tinadazole, other generic names Fasigyn, Tinabar. And mega-dose. Take half the pack immediately and 24 hours later swallow the rest. Any little critters (intestinal worms) that aren't whacked out on the first onslaught will die in the second. It's always worked with me – I'm sucker for local water, but carry a filter.
    Having said that, the violent puking sounds more like food poisoning or dysentry. Giardia isn't so bad- just uncomfortable and nauseous- lots of sulphuric farts and burps, and diarrhea.
    Best of luck!
    Pete from Tasmnania

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