Perverted for Penguins
Notice the one in the back singing and playing the tuba I have temporarily renamed Pandemic my magic bicycle, Regatta the magic bicycle after the great sailing conditions the Otago peninsula is producing today. I am hoping that the wind shifts once again and sails [...]
Ass me, I Mean Ask Me?
Me and My Gluteus Maximus with Pandemic The Magic Bicycle (In Ireland last year) How’s your….she lowers her eyes and blushes, your ….ah… she points to her pants….your…..she finally finds the word….bottom, doesn’t it get sore? I have a great seat, I answered. I [...]
I Have a Candy Problem!
I am running down the streets of Dunedin like a lunatic at a Spanish bull run. The metal on the bottom of my cycling shoes is clamoring like church bells against the sidewalk. I am on a timer, I have 60 seconds to get to [...]
Nice Earrings Buddy!
The numbered earrings are a medallion warn proudly for how many cyclists she has taken out! They have even built themselves bovine mobile carts so they can keep up. They were feeling a bit jealous of all the speedy cyclists! Holy Cow!!! I mean who [...]
Dansey’s Pass
I went out on a date the other day. I am still not sure if it was the best date or worst date I have had in my life. The man who took me out goes by the name of Dansey. He made a pass [...]
Insecticide and The Great Famine
I have been eating a lot of bugs today while cycling into the wind. It feels like I was peddling through a asteroid bug field. I wonder what the caloric value of insects is? I have been losing weight lately. Bug eating is something I [...]
Dyslexic Wonderland!
Down under in New Zealand in the lower hemisphere, the stars sparkle with a gesturing ass over tea kettle come hither. After having spent 9 years in Alaska, the land of darkness and minimum pollution, I have become accustomed to looking up at the clear [...]
Blow Me!
I think there might be something wrong with me or with my kind magic bicycle. I have been peddling like a fly caught in a spider’s web. Pulling into camp after dark and barely making it. I may have turned into a moldy old lady [...]
Loretta Henderson The Chicken
I would like to introduce Loretta The Chicken. This is her debut. She is an accomplished athlete. She is a triathelete she swims, runs and bikes. She is an ambitious bird with lofty goals and she mentioned that she would like to be the official [...]
Red or White?
I pushed the breaks with a ferociousness that could only be found in the aftermath of adrenalin. With the bicycle break clamped tight, I closed my eyes and hoped for the best. All I could hear was the skid of a car and a woman [...]