Moo moo on a midget! (May 2 ’09)
How do I get out of this town? I have been through more roundabouts or circular galaxies of confusion then I can keep track of. I am starting to think the powers at be are playing a really good joke on my sense of direction. [...]
Cheers! Archive Post 4/30/09
I feel like an arthritic old lady at the moldy age of 37 with a humped back from years of calcium deprivation and hard work in the fields. Hard work in the fields would of conditioned me a bit better for this voyage. With every [...]
Rain Snot Dirt
Another rain drenched frozen booger splatters me in the face as I splash down the hill. I am dodging snot, dirt and freezing rain pellets. The late autumn rain is so intense it has gotten ridiculous. So ridiculous and cold it is humorous to try [...]
Perverted for Penguins
Notice the one in the back singing and playing the tuba I have temporarily renamed Pandemic my magic bicycle, Regatta the magic bicycle after the great sailing conditions the Otago peninsula is producing today. I am hoping that the wind shifts once again and sails [...]
Ass me, I Mean Ask Me?
Me and My Gluteus Maximus with Pandemic The Magic Bicycle (In Ireland last year) How’s your….she lowers her eyes and blushes, your ….ah… she points to her pants….your…..she finally finds the word….bottom, doesn’t it get sore? I have a great seat, I answered. I [...]
I Have a Candy Problem!
I am running down the streets of Dunedin like a lunatic at a Spanish bull run. The metal on the bottom of my cycling shoes is clamoring like church bells against the sidewalk. I am on a timer, I have 60 seconds to get to [...]
Nice Earrings Buddy!
The numbered earrings are a medallion warn proudly for how many cyclists she has taken out! They have even built themselves bovine mobile carts so they can keep up. They were feeling a bit jealous of all the speedy cyclists! Holy Cow!!! I mean who [...]
Dansey’s Pass
I went out on a date the other day. I am still not sure if it was the best date or worst date I have had in my life. The man who took me out goes by the name of Dansey. He made a pass [...]
Insecticide and The Great Famine
I have been eating a lot of bugs today while cycling into the wind. It feels like I was peddling through a asteroid bug field. I wonder what the caloric value of insects is? I have been losing weight lately. Bug eating is something I [...]
Dyslexic Wonderland!
Down under in New Zealand in the lower hemisphere, the stars sparkle with a gesturing ass over tea kettle come hither. After having spent 9 years in Alaska, the land of darkness and minimum pollution, I have become accustomed to looking up at the clear [...]